Staking one out

Okay, I'm planting my flag here, so if anybody else gets the same idea later on, they'll have to recognize my prior claim.

A couple days ago, I was watching some damnfool on teevee talk about, and threaten to prepare, a "Turducken" -- which is of course that well-known and popular dinner entree, the chicken, stuffed inside a duck, jammed into a turkey. ("That was a nice enough turkey dinner, Louise, but wouldn't it have been better if there'd been a whole duck stuffed inside of it? With a chicken inside of that?") Lovely. Just the fact that the new made-up word begins with "Turd" should have given someone second thoughts, wouldn't you think? But no.

Okay, so stuffing one fowl into another into a third is kind of impressive, but does it really stretch the boundaries of abusive, post-modern gluttony? I think not. Hence my new culinary concept...

Dear friends, let me present the "Ewebuffapotamus" which is, obviously, a whole sheep stuffed into a buffalo (preferably the north American buffalo, or 'bison') and all of that wedged into the boneless carcass of a hippopotamus.

Say it with me, "Ewebuffapotamus". Melodious, and perhaps even mouth-watering. Tonight the world changes. At this moment, as I type this, a Google search of "Ewebuffapotamus" returns zero results. But in just a little while, all that will change. We are at the dawn of a new era.

And, dear friends, need it stop there? Why prepare and serve a mere Ewebuffapotamus, when with a little extra preparation you might create a Pigewebuffapotamus, or the exotic Platypewebuffapotamus, or the down-home Squirrecoonewebuffapotamus, or for a larger crowd, even the Bunnypigewebuffapotamusephant?

The frontiers of culinary science have been forced wide open. And now a piglet, stuffed inside a sheep, shoved into a bison, crammed into a hippo, has been thrust down its waiting gullet. Let us rejoice.